If I was to convey a message of an optimistic nature, the medium I would prefer to use, would be in sync with the message nature.
thus, in these moments, when a message of opportunity, optimism and redemption is at hand, I wish I could convey it with music and dance.
What is known today as a "music video" could be the medium, especially today when you can jam pack the melody with words that will embody the message.
But because my bones are tired in these days, raising my kids and maintaining a steady stream of finance into the sinking boat, void of gratitude or recognition called my home. I am not left alone to do my bidding. Privacy is my long life dream, a place to rest my head In peace.
My wife cannot afford to give me such a moment, nagging and dragging my spirit all over the floor like a wet dirty rag used as an ends to a means I am not sure I deserve to be completing in this undignified manner. There was much expectation followed by dissatisfaction. But others can "say the same about me"... I guess.
In my biasedly tainted perspective, My wife's father has not a true understanding of self confidence, not dignity on any lever other than the superficial, theft, lies and swindle are acceptable means to an end if you can get away with it. These elements are reflected in his daughter, leaving me a mess to sort through and fix.
It may be my imagination, but I I feel like a caged animal, on one hand, eager to do good for those near and dear to me and for all of mankind, but at the same time afraid to be used and abused like I was in the days gone by.
I just want world peace. I have ideas. Of course, the criticism is swift and without mercy, spoken from those who have suffered the brunt of human treachery and betrayal, they tell me a tale of woe, they tell me "go back into the egg shell you crawled out of" fight not with the lions of the day.
They tell me "you run from your own misery, so you engulf yourself with thoughts of the greater world peace, you are distracted by the bigger picture from the task of fixing your own turmoil".
But can't both be true? Do they really think I can't handle my own life while helping the bigger world? Do they doubt my plan? Are they allergic to optimism? Or do they show affection by trying to help in the way of casting doubts on my every move? I don't know. Too much to unpack.
Picture, Elephants: wise, remembers old paths which lead to the water, stronger than the lion, gentler than the bull, will use its power to defend the herd, followed by many others who seek water, many follow in its path. Respect the leader.
Parents are like the government.
They both rule. They both will use force. They both abuse their power. They are both higher and more sophisticated than their children and subjects dare venture to understand.
A bad run with the former has left a bad taste in my mouth for the latter.
While men like My father can accept a spit in the face for the treatment they gave me as a child, my mother is far gone, delusional and alone, stranded in a world evaporating ever so quickly.
Now, like a boat with no cargo, she should get to repairs, but instead she broadens the gashes in her haul insuring she is never sea worthy again, and insuring she never forgets the hardships of the high seas. But alas even now, ducked on the shore, the holes in her walls are too big, and the boat is slowly sinking, even guests from the last voyage can't return to stay the night, because this vessel will welcome none.
Our modern day brings rich widespread wisdom, open source the secrets to success, those who have the passion for life will take of this fruit. The schools stale with outdated information, not fast enough to update their narrative to fit the reality of now.
Then again, success seems to wear a cap. The system is not for those who dream like yosef, rather only for those who sleep.
To live, we shall find refuge in a land far away, but we need not go anywhere to start to create it. Because it is the place of spirit that we will build our homeland.
טוב צדק ויושר.
The sin of men like me :
As explained in the Sanhedrin Services page on my website www.mnglobal.org I intend to give this world an advisory opportunity to solve big problems that affect millions of people, by negotiating, and compromise, by stressing ethical and moral principles, by remembering that the ends do not justify the means, and that every step to the redemption needs to be done with the proper respect, we will create a greater world.
But as I write these words, I feel as if there are those who want me for them, they see my work as a threat to the attention they will get, they want it all, they don't see the bigger picture, they don't understand that my work cane help us avoid large issues and create solutions that will benefit all of mankind. No. They see only themselves. Themselves alone.
Like the choking evil love of a selfish mother like mine, working to destroy the marriages of her children so that they stay with her another day...