Dark clouds roll over me, a tanlge of events not of my chossing have engulfed my life, freinds and family choke my time with their needs, I love to help, I love to give, they deserve my assistance, I owe them, I say, but to what end, how much can one take, in my head what feels like a direct spit in the face to my "plans", unintended or not, to what end, why is my life not in my hands, all the responsibility I have taken upon myself, now catches up to me at a pace and fashion which makes me feel like... My life is out of my control.
but than, sometimes, in the dark of night, I get to sit alone, reorganize my thoughts and prayers, talk to the creator of the universe, and see, that there is some life, light, a way out, even during ww2 when the order of the day where mountains of dead bodies, the killers and those being killed would take a rest at night, that rest, is us not destroying the world, in our day, generally speaking, we use the day not to kill but to build, but even today, our greatest challenge is showing mercy and patience to the young ones in wisdom, strength integrity and understanding, taking the time to build a ladder to heaven a ladder with Angeles going up and down, Jacob's ladder. So that they too, can be part of the redemption of Israel process.
It's not a race to the finish, it's a race to who can build the roads for humanity so that we all can make it to the finish, the finish being the redemption of Israel and the world.
For the wise to go down from their full potential, to deal with the mundane, is extremely painful, it is the ultimate sacrifice, and one hashem expects us to do from time to time, we must never forget, that we too needed to be guided and taught the way of the torah.
For true potential to be seen, it needs to sit in the right vessel, the most expensive wine in the world, might be tossed in the trash if it is held in the wrong container, without the right vessel, the wisdom cannot manifest.
My prayers is, to all those - myself included - who are now working to build the redemption of Israel process, in all its intricate details with it's unique and special qualities, once you find your free will, once you find your personal redemption, once you clear your time to assist those who need it,
may you find the right place where your talents will be recognized and appreciated, may you find the vessel and framework that can handle your light, your work in building said global redemption.
מפני קדושת המועד.